Carnforth RUFC

I Love my Mother in Law

Last night in gay Paris, I paid 5 francs to see
A painted french lady, tattooed from head to knee
And on her jaw was a British man o' war
And on her back was a Union Jack so I paid 5 francs more

And up and down her spine was the Carnforth men in line
And on her lily white bum, bum, bum
Was a picture of the rising sun, sun, sun

And on her fanny, was Al Jolsen singing "Maaammmy"
How I loves her, how I loves her, how I loves my mother in law.

How I loves my mother in law, shes nowt but a fucking great whore
She nags me day and night, night, night
I can't do fuck all right, right, right
She's coming round tomorrow I hope she stays away
Isn't it a pity that she's only got one titty
And she's in the family way
Last night I greased the stairs, put tacks on all the chairs
I hope she breaks her back, back, back
'Cos I do like wearing black, black, black

She's fine, she's dandy and she makes my dog feel randy
How I loves her, how I loves her, how I loves my mother in law.